Anyway, I have been racking my brain lately thinking 'where did it all go wrong?'. This girl was a part of my life for the past five years and although I have lots of friends, I spent a lot of my time with her. Every picture album I look in, she's there. My laptop is full of pictures from good times we had together and social networking sites are full of memories. Everywhere I look there are constant reminders. I am pretty gutted about our 'fall out' and the fact we haven't spoke in 2 and a half months. It's crazy how time can change EVERYTHING. It was only a couple of years ago we spent Christmas exchanging gifts, dancing around my bedroom to Alexandra Burke, dolling ourselves up, drinking blue WKD and going out on the town. I know life doesn't always go as you planned but I am such an emotional person and to me, this is really sad. We didn't even wish each other a 'Happy Christmas' this year and it just felt odd.
I don't really know how to feel about the whole situation if I'm honest. I find myself sitting here and thinking 'I wish I could tell her about this or that'. When I think like this, I get upset and find myself thinking WHY? On the other hand, the reason we fell out was so silly and my other friends tell me that a 'real' friend wouldn't have 'fallen out' with me over something so minor. I definitely think this is true so I then start resenting my 'ex-friend' and thinking, how could you disown me as a friend when I have been there for you for all these years? I consider myself a loyal, honest friend and if she ever needed something, I was there. So now she has 'ditched' me, I feel massively stabbed in the back. I think my honesty didn't do me any favours at times and I can sometimes speak my mind too much. It gets me in trouble but I prefer to be open with my friends than bottle things up.
Anyway, sorry to ramble. This is probably the most depressing post in the history of Blogger and I promise it won't become a regular thing. I have read a few posts on here from girls who have addressed various 'issues' they are having and the support from other bloggers has always been amazing. I write this blog about my passion for beauty but also to meet new people who I can relate to and who can relate to me. Yes, life does go on after 'falling out' with a close friend and I have got an amazing group of friends who will always be there for me but at the same time I feel like life is too short for silly fall-outs with someone I considered a close friend. I am 21 after all and would like to think the friends I have now will be my friends for life.
Have any of you been through a similar situation with a friend? What would you do? I don't know whether I should just let it go or try to re-kindle the friendship? It certainly seems like she has no interest in being my friend, in which case she has obviously never been a real friend but I still feel I need some questions answering before I can let it go?
On a brighter note guys, me and my friend went shopping today and I finally got myself some Estee Lauder 'Doublewear' so expect a lengthy review very soon.
Lots of Love,