Dealing with OCD - My Experience


Hi Lovely People. Today I want to discuss something that is very close to my heart, something I want to raise the awareness of and something I have suffered with for years. I realise most of you come to this blog to read about superficial girly stuff and as much as I love sharing my new favourite beauty product with you all, I sometimes like to sit down, write, and share my life experiences with others. As my header says, this is a 'beauty, fashion and life' blog. Now I normally don't like to bore you with my day to day life as I'm not all that interesting but this is a post I have been wanting to write for some time as I feel my experiences, thoughts and advice might help another girl (or boy, if there are any of you reading) to overcome and understand something I have only come to know too well for the past nine years. This 'something' I keep referring too is obsessive compulsive disorder or 'OCD' as know to many. 

As I said, OCD is an illness I have personally had to deal with for years and something that I feel is all too often viewed as a 'make believe' illness for those super organised folk who like to clean their house one too many times a day. Time and time again, I hear jokes and off the cuff remarks being made about that 'neat freak' who is 'totally OCD'. Now don't get me wrong, we all know people like this, sometimes its just built within a person to be overly organised and clean but more often than you'd expect, there is more to these obsessive habits than meets the eye. If any of you reading have never heard of OCD, it is an 'anxiety disorder characterised by intrusive thoughts that produce uneasiness, apprehension, fear, or worry, by repetitive behaviours aimed at reducing the associated anxiety, or by a combination of such obsessions and compulsions.' 
Basically, to make things easier to understand, it is a mental mind game that can send the most happy-go-lucky person to a very dark place.

I now want to share my story - how my OCD began, how it progressed and how it has improved. I know some of you won't be interested and if thats the case, feel free to click the 'X' but for those of you who can relate to the feelings mentioned in the statement above, I hope my story will help you realise you are not alone and that OCD is a very common yet very misunderstood illness. At the age of twelve, I sadly lost my grandad who I was extremely close to. Without going into too much detail, his death was sudden, he was young and I was heartbroken. For me, this is when my symptoms began. I was always a carefree 'I don't care what people think about me' kind of girl up until this traumatic time in my life. Suddenly I changed, my thought process changed and quite frankly, my life changed. As dramatic as it sounds to those who have never suffered with OCD, a switch flicked in my head and I was suddenly overcome by a sea of obsessive thoughts and irrational behaviours. Linking back to the death of my grandfather, I began feeling like someone close to me would be taken from me if I didn't live my life to a set of strict rituals.

The first 'ritual' that developed was the constant need to wash my hands and fear of germs and contamination. This is probably the most common and often laughed about form of OCD but I can assure you, it is far from funny. I got to a stage of washing my hands so much that they were chapped, dry and bleeding. I became obsessed with not touching door handles and would use my sleeve to open every door, even the ones in my own home. Now I'm sure you can all imagine that living this way wasn't easy. I began to feel ashamed of myself and would try my best to hide what I was doing from the people closest to me. However, the symptoms continued to develop and progressively got worse. It got so bad infact that it was interfering with my every day life and I wouldn't go to certain places as I would think they were contaminated. I would make a mess of my school work after thoughts like 'write it again' popped into my head telling me my writing wasn't neat enough. At one point it even affected me socially as the thoughts would tell me that I must not respond to a person without counting to nine first. You can imagine what an idiot this made me look and I started to feel like all I wanted to do was sit in the house all day and not have to see anybody.

The next 'ritual' that my mind was telling me I needed to do was one that would keep me awake till the early hours of the morning each night. This was my OCD at its most severe and it would include me having to touch every single thing in my bedroom before I went to sleep, opening and closing my door until it felt just right and turning my bedside lamp on and off 99 times. This is just a few of the things I would find myself doing each night and although I knew deep down it was ridiculous, these thoughts inside my head kept telling me something bad would happen to the people closest to me if I didn't perform these obsessive routines. With this being said, I continued to do what my brain was telling me until one night it all became too much and I broke down in tears on my bed. My mum was obviously concerned when she saw me in such a state and asked me what was wrong. I honestly didn't know what to say other than, "theres something wrong with me, I'm going insane" as this is what I truly thought. Luckily, I have a very understanding mum and she did her best to calm me down and talk things through. I remember feeling such relief after telling someone what I was going through and I then made it my mission to find out what was making me feel/think this way.

After doing lots of research online, I came across lots of websites that showed lists of symptoms almost identical to mine. Each of the websites had described obsessive compulsive disorder as an irrational thought process that makes us think we must do something to prevent bad things from happening. After reading up on the illness and finding out just how common it was, I began to feel like I could beat it and told myself I would stop listening to these stupid thoughts. However, it is easier said than done and for months I continued to struggle controlling them. It got so bad at one point that I was constantly having panic attacks, inability to sleep and constantly living in fear. I spoke to various people close to me throughout this time and all of them suggested the same thing; therapy. I had read online that cognitive behavioural therapy was the best way to treat the illness but I still felt too embarrassed to let anyone other than my family know about the things I was doing. Again, I continued with normal life and tried to ignore the thoughts. In time, things improved and I slowly learnt how to keep the thoughts at bay. I realised stress played a big factor and if I was worried about something, the thoughts would get worse. Over time, the hand washing and nightly routines stopped and the things I was doing gradually became less severe. I have never completely got rid of my OCD, nor do I think I ever will but I am slowly but surely learning to control and deal with it.

OCD is a very hard thing to understand if you haven't experienced it yourself. It can completely take over a persons life, it can make you doubt yourself, cause paranoia, insecurity and a whole host of other things that make day to day tasks a huge mission. As I said, I have improved massively in the past couple of years and I think that comes down to realising the way I was acting wasn't right, trying my hardest to ignore the negative thoughts and realising I'm not alone in this. To finish this post, I want to include some advice to bare in mind if you are struggling to deal with OCD - 

- Tell someone how you are feeling - it will be a huge weight off your shoulders.
- Don't feel ashamed or embarrassed - OCD is common and millions of people around the world suffer with it.
- Try and control your thoughts. Tell yourself nothing bad will happen if you don't follow through with the  irrational behaviour.
-  Get help. Although I didn't see a professional, it is something I regret. I feel I could of dealt with it much quicker had I gone and asked for help.
- Never feel worthless - It is easy to feel controlled by thoughts but remember the thoughts do not define who you are as a person.
- Surround yourself with supportive people - If the people around you understand how you are feeling, they can help you overcome it.
- Try not to get stressed - It will only make your thoughts and feelings worse.


This time last year I would of been too embarrassed and ashamed to tell anyone about this, let alone publish it on the internet. However, since starting this blog I have come to realise the blogging world is a little community of people where we can all share our life experiences and help each other. As I said earlier, if this post can help even one person who may be going through a similar experience to mine, I will be happy. I hope you have enjoyed reading this wether you suffer with OCD personally or are just someone who has never read first hand how it can affect a person. Finally - if any of you want to retweet or link back to this post to help me raise awareness, I would be so grateful. (Twitter- @k_leexjx) 

Thanks for reading!
Lots of Love,

76 comments

  1. Thanks so much for sharing your story. I'm sure it's going to help alot of people x

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    1. Thanks for your lovely comment!! Even if it helps one person I will be happy :) xxx.

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  2. Hey :)
    I just wanted to let you know that it is so brave and inspiring for you to do this kind of post. I suffer with OCD to an extent, and I have experienced having to touch things in my room. I also have to lock my car three times before I can go to sleep, However I actually suffer worse with anxiety, and it has got very bad at times. I just wanted to say thank you for writing this post, and I am glad that now you can talk about it with all of your followers!

    Love India

    www.thejewelbeauty.blogspot.com

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    1. Thanks India :) As awful as it is and I wouldn't wish it upon anyone, it's nice to know other people suffer with these issues too!! I suffer with anxiety/panic attacks too - I'm pretty sure they are all linked together in some way! Not nice at all bit hopefully with time I will overcome it & you will too!! Xx.

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  3. This is such a thoughtful post. I really admire you for speaking out about OCD, and not hiding away. It's not something I've suffered with myself, nor anyone close to me. I obviously cannot fully understand how hard it must be for you, or your loved ones. But I can only imagine how difficult it would be. It's great that you're coming to terms with it and learning how to control it. Blogging is probably a great distraction too, I guess. I think you're really brave for talking about this. A really inspirational post, that I found quite interesting to read. :) xxx
    p.s I love your blog :)
    Sharna.
    www.mybeautyandfashionfix.blogspot.com

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    1. Thanks so much Sharna! As someone who isn't connected to OCD in any way, I am glad you still found it an interesting read! It took some guts to publish this but I think openly discussing it instead of bottling it up will not only help me bit hopefully help others too :) xxx.

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  4. ah babe I'm so glad you posted about this! I used to be so bad with OCD, but it's definitely linked to anxiety/stress with me too. when I leave the bathroom I have to switch the light on & off & make sure my hands are still a bit wet (even I think this sounds crazy!). I do a few other things too like an order I have to touch things.. it's nice to know I'm not the only one that does stuff like this! sure it'll help a lot of people out :) x

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    1. I totally agree, if my OCD is getting out of hand I always get anxious and have panic attacks! It's bloomin awful but hopefully posting something like this will make people less ashamed to talk about it cause I personally think talking about it helps a lot!! I used to be the same with lights/washing my hands - I thought I was going mad!! Xx.

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  5. What a brilliant post! Well done for posting about such a personal issue! I hope this helps some people who are struggling with these feelings! I haven't got this myself, but i do remember having a night time routine when I was little. I used to think three witches would come into my room when I switched off my light, to make sure i was alseep and that i had to lie super still and not move until i actually feel asleep! i thought that if i did move i would be kidnapped by them! strange but true. your story reminded me of that funny little night time routine that i had. nothing as serious as yours though! I'm glad your learning to now control it!

    Great post!!

    Jen xxx

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    1. Thanks so much for your comment Jen :) what your explaining probably was a small dose of OCD as feeling like something bad will happen if you don't do something is the most common sign! It is an awful thing to experience so I hope this post can help somebody out there too :) xxx.

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  6. Wow thank you for the powerful read. I have a family member who suffers from OCD, depression and severe anxiety and it's awful to see how much they struggle. It's really wonderful how honest you are and how you've really put yourself out there, your story and views will really help a lot of people struggling with this, it's more common than people realize.
    xx

    xoxo Bree
    The Urban Umbrella

    http://www.theurbanumbrella.com/

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    1. Hi Bree, thanks for your comment! As someone who has dealt with it myself, I can only imagine how hard it must be to see a family member going through it! It really can be soul destroying so even if this post can encourage one person to seek help I will be more than happy!! Xx.

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  7. This is a great post. I too have OCD and anxiety problems. I have to make my bed, remake it and remake it. I get into bed and i can't relax because i know that its creased at the end. Or that a bit is sticking out, or there is more of the duvet on one side than the other. It's horrible, I even make my boyfriend get out of bed so I can do it. I try to just push it out of my head. I mean, the beds going to get messed up whilst I'm sleeping in it! but it's just not that simple! x

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    1. I really understand what your saying as I used to to similar things! It is an awful feeling but you really need to try convincing yourself nothing bad will happen and it is just your mind playing tricks on you! It worked for me so I hope you can overcome it too!! Xx.

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  8. This is a fantastic post. I am really in awe of the fact that you shared such a personal nightmare with your readers. Its very brave of you. I've seen really bad OCD, like you describe you went through, in action before with a friend and it really is such a hard thing to understand when you haven't gone through it yourself. I didn't understand to be honest. I thought she was simply a little crazy about germs. Thank you for making it more understandable for everyone!

    Helen xxx

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    1. Thanks for your lovely comment Helen! This is the problem - a lot of people don't understand it which can make it harder for someone suffering with OCD to talk about it! Lots of the time it's laughed about but hopefully if people read this post they will realise it is a serious illness that can ruin people's lives!! Xx.

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  9. I love reading any post you put up. You are so honest and lovely and you are so brave to post this. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone handles things in their life differently and I'm glad you feel as though you are in a better place now. Although I don't suffer with it, I still read this post as it is good to be aware of different issues people suffer with and it's so great you're recovering. Congrats :)

    xxx

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    1. Thanks so much Claudia :) knowing that people enjoy my posts makes writing my blog all worth the while!! It can be hard to understand if you are not a sufferer but I'm glad reading this post gave you a bit more knowledge about it!! Thanks for reading!! Xx.

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  10. Really enjoyed this post. :) Glad things are better for you now.

    The strangest thing I've ever had was when random words would pop into my head, I would have to stop whatever I was doing and trace the word with my finger in thin air/walls/tables/anywhere. I'm sure I looked like a complete nutcase but I couldnt help it. I cringe even thinking about it now lol
    xo

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    1. Hey :) I'm glad you enjoyed it! That definitely sounds like a form of OCD! I used to be the same with words and numbers that I would have to say or something bad would happen! You shouldn't cringe though - the mind is a powerful thing!! Thanks for commenting :) xxx.

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  11. So glad you posted this! I have suffered with OCD ever since I can remember. So can totally relate to this post. It's a disorder that I dont think is talked about enough often because it can be embarrasing like you said, and it's also hard for other people to understand without having suffered from it. But I think its great you are raising awareness of it! and I really admire you for posting this, I can tell it would have taken a lot! xx

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    1. Thanks for your comment Vanessa!! I totally agree that it isnt talked about enough and when it is talked about it is usually in a jokey manner which annoys me!! I hope that people reading this will realise it is a lot more serious than most people realise!! It was hard to post about but if it can help someone it was worth the while!! Xx.

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  12. Thank you so much for writing this Kayleigh..I have found myself having similiar symptoms lately like having to check that the light is off 7 times and washing my hands after EVERYTHING but have been trying to ignore it and keep it to myself..your post has helped me realise I'm not the only person doing it..you should be very proud of yourself, because I'm sure you've helped so many people!xx

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    1. Ahhh thanks so much for commenting lovely :) you are certainly not alone - OCD affects so many people and it isn't something to be embarrassed or ashamed about!! It's great that you are trying to ignore it - that's the best thing to do! Just tell yourself you don't NEED to do these things no matter how uneasy it makes you feel!! Xx.

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  13. This is such a great post. Glad things are better for you now :)

    xox

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    1. Thanks Lauren - things are improving slowly but surely and I hope to one day get rid of it completely!! Xx.

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  14. I work in mental health arena and know how awful this can be for sufferers. It will be great for other sufferers to read your story and know they're not alone.
    Well done for speaking out on this issue. After doing a CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) course earlier this year I can understand how hard it is to admit it and accept help.
    Great alternative blog to your usual ones.
    Claire xx

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    1. Thanks for your comment Claire!! You must have seen how it can affect someone first hand so at least you understand how it can affect people!! I would love for even one person suffering with it to read this post!! Thanks for your comment :) xxx.

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  15. Thanks for sharing this post! My hubby suffers with OCD too, he did a post on my blog a few weeks ago;

    http://golddustk.blogspot.co.uk/2012/07/mrs-goes-mad-guest-post.html#comment-form

    xx

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    1. Thanks for your comment Katie! I will be sure to read your post :) it's always nice to know there are other people out there feeling the same way!! Xx.

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  16. I do not suffer, or know anyone hat suffers from this illness, but a programme I watched 2 weeks ago on channel 4 broke my heart. It was called 'the worlds maddest interview' and featured a man who has also suffered from this for a very long time. Like you he was convinced something back would happen to those he loved and it got so severe he ended up in a mental hospital.

    I am pleased you are doing so well and are helping others by writing about it.

    http://style-x-notes.blogspot.co.uk/

    Bex. x

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    1. Thanks for your conment!! I didn't see that show but I'm glad there are programmes on TV showing how OCD can affect someone life! That's so awful that he ended up in a mental institute but hopefully he can get the help required!! Thanks again for commenting :) xxx.

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  17. Thank you for sharing your story. I admire your courage and strength. Xo

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  18. I am so glad you wrote this, good for you girl :) I suffer from OCD too, the germs and contamination kind. I always get weird looks and comments :( I feel I've gotten a lot better the last year, at my worst I wouldn't let anybody touch me and I would rather walk 7 km to my house than sit in someones dirty car. It is really tough and it is ridiculous how someone can think it's funny. Thank you so much for writing this post, it will probably help lots of people :)

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    1. Thanks so much for your comment! As awful as OCD is, it's nice to know there are other people out there in the same boat! I totally agree it is ridiculous to laugh about it as it can really control a persons life! At my worst I didn't even want to leave the house which is certainly not funny!! I hope you learn to deal with it like I did and eventually overcome it completely :) xxx.

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  19. This was such a nice post, I suffer with OCD and it's nice to know that other people are similar to me. I was thinking about doing a post about it on my blog, I also suffer from anxiety and mild panic attacks and think it's important to raise awareness to people who don't understand and to make people feel like they aren't alone :) xx

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    1. Thanks for your comment Georgina :) it's certainly nice to know there are other people who are similar!! You should definitely do a post :) the more people who speak out about it, the more aware people will become!! Xx.

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  20. You're so, so brave for posting this! You're so right, OCD is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about and I'm sure many people will feel grateful that you've posted this because they'll be able to relate. It's so important to raise awareness of things like this so well done you! I'm really sorry that you suffer from it but it's so great to hear that you're slowly getting better, I really hope things keep on improving! xxx

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    1. Thanks for your lovely comment Josie! I agree it is so important to raise awareness so people who are suffering with it don't have to feel embarrassed or ashamed of themselves!! Xx.

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  21. This was such a lovely post, I've suffered mildly with this for as long as I remember. I was washing my hands so much during the day that for a long time my hands were always sore and cracked. I still can't go to bed now with out opening and closing my door 6 times, and double checking all my light switches are turned off, other wise I can't sleep because I'm convinced something awful will happen. I'm so glad you're getting better now though!
    Rosie xx

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    1. Thanks for your lovely comment!! I was the exact same with washing my hands! They were so sore from all the water that they would crack and bleed!! I hope like me you will find a way of managing the feelings you are having so you no longer have to do those things before bed!! Xx.

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  22. Hi Kayleigh, thank you for sharing your experience, it was a really brave thing to do and so thoughtful as I'm sure there will be people reading it who can relate and will love to hear your story and see hope for themselves too. I personally do not suffer from OCD, but it was good to be enlightened about the facts of living with it. You are a really beautiful woman!
    Rachael xxx
    rivasoave.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. Hi Rachael, thanks so much for your lovely comment!! I was unsure about posting this but I am so glad it has got a good reaction and may potentially help someone!! Xx.

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  23. Thanks for the post. I have OCD and it took me a long time to realise because, like you say, what people portray as OCD is people who are really clean and neat! I'm so glad you addressed that it's really something entirely different. It detracts from how serious a condition it can be. I for example, am the opposite of that. I have trouble throwing ANYTHING away and am a total hoarder, which I know is a result of my OCD. I don't have it to a severe degree, and it doesn't impact my life very much, but I can easily see how it could. Thanks for sharing your story, I think it will help people. x

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    1. Thanks for your comment Rachael! I completely agree.. People tend to label it as something that makes a person super tidy and organised! Yes, it can have this effect on people but OCD comes in lots of difference forms! At one stage my OCD made me believe I was dying everytime I got an ache or pain! It really does control peoples minds and needs to be taken a lot more seriously!! Xx.

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  24. Great post...Its true it is a illness if it takes over your life...I love your blog..
    http://www.roros-world

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    1. Thanks Rochelle, I completely agree!! Xx.

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  25. I love this post! It is great to read it and think it might help a lot of people..

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    1. Thank you very much, I'm glad you enjoyed it and fingers crossed it helps someone out there!! Xx.

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  26. great post really helpful I suffer with ocd too and have done for years. I am at the same point of you it has been reduced but still it is consistent but im getting there slowly.

    kittiederouge.blogspot

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    1. Thank you so much!! Sorry to hear you suffer with it too but it just goes to show how many people it affects! I hope you continue to improve and learn to control it :) xxx.

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  27. I think you're so brave to post this Kayleigh! It's going to help a lot of people xxx

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    1. Thanks so much Melissa - I really hope it will!! Xx.

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  28. I've never had anything to the extent of this post, but I definitely think I have very mild OCD, I don't know what I think is going to happen but I just feel so uneasy about what may happen if I don't do certain things.. my worst by far is checking if doors/windows are locked, setting at least 3 alarms on my phone and checking them repeatedly, I'll check them minimum 5 times, then check my emails etc then check them again minimum 5 times but ends up being more like 10, finally allow myself to go to sleep to check them again 5 minutes later, to be sure. I'm really glad you feel you could make this post, cos so many other people will relate to this, some who have never told anyone before and may find the strength to now. I hope you feel better for getting this off your chest!

    Lots of love
    Kirsty

    misskirstymarie.blogspot.co.uk
    xxx

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    1. Thanks for your comment Kirsty. Judging by what you are saying, you definitely have a mild case of OCD! Any thoughts or feeling that make you feel like you must do something isn't normal therefore it needs to be made more aware of so people can talk more openly about it without feeling embarrassed!! I definitely feel better for putting it out there and like you say hopefully someone suffering may find the strength to tell someone after reading this post!! Xx.

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  29. I'm so glad that you've found the strength to post this. The fact that you've done this shows that you are so much better,

    Chloe xo

    stylethroughthelookingglass.blogspot.com

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    1. Thanks for your lovely comment! I feel great for posting it and yes, I wouldn't of been able to tell anyone a few years ago never mind put it on the internet!! Xx.

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  30. That was such a courageous thing to do writing this! I am sure there are so many people out there who are grateful and I am so glad to hear things are so much better for you! xxxx

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    1. Thank you Millie!! I hope this post can help someone out there who might be suffering!! Xx.

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  31. I would hate to sound at all patronising and I mean this genuinely, well done lovely. It must have taken some guts to press publish on this, or to even write it all down for that matter. It's not something I've experienced before, but it's such a lovely thing to do, to let others know they're not the only ones. You're a bit wonderful xxx

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    1. Ahhh thanks so much Meg you beaut of a thing! I just hope it helps someone out there who might feel like they are all alone!! Xx.

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  32. Really pleased you posted about this.
    Would love you to check out my latest outfit post :)
    Happy weekend Hun xoxo
    http://www.intotheblonde.com/

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    1. Thank you - I hope you enjoyed reading!! Xx.

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  33. I totally agree with what everyone above have written and I'm glad you're controlling your OCD now. It's surprising how many people actually have OCD and I believe that majority of people have a 'little' OCD, I myself can't sleep unless I close the bedroom curtains in a certain way (the crossover has to face away from the bed) and have to make sure that all drawers are shut are shut properly with nothing hanging out of them. Great post and thanks for raising the awareness :) x

    bluebutterfly80.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. Thanks so much for your comment Donna! I totally agree with what you said about everyone having a little OCD! I think everyone does certain things that make them sleep better at night but sometimes it can get quite serious and really control a persons life like it did with me!! I hope anyone reading will realise this and realise it can be quite a serious problem!! Xx.

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  34. Wow Kayleigh i can relate so much to this. I too used to suffer from OCD when i was younger and i hate that some people think its a 'made up' illness - I used to have to tap things a certain number of times before i could go to bed and it used to be so frustrating - i still get it at times now but luckily not as bad as i used to! Great post honey :) xx

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  35. This post is great, I admire your bravery so much because it is something that people don't take seriously enough a lot of the time.
    I'm glad that you're feeling more confident and able to manage your OCD, this is bound to give people more confidence to speak out about it.
    I had mild OCD when I was younger and it was awful, at my worst I couldn't cope with anyone moving anything of mine without having a huge breakdown and I couldn't even explain why, it just felt like the world was ending. When I told my mum she just thought I was being a melodramatic teenager and brushed it off which was pretty upsetting as I felt awkward and embarrassed telling in the first place.
    Keep up the good work!
    X

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  36. Thank you so much for this post! I've suffered from OCD since I was 7, and like you, it started with the hand washing. Since then, it's progressed into social anxiety and a slew of other things. I did try therapy for a little while, but my therapist really sucked so I stopped. It's a really difficult thing to live with, and all of my friends could never understand it and were very unsupportive to the point where they stopped being my friend because they thought I was "weird". What they don't realize is that some of the most intelligent people in the world suffer from OCD, and that all I needed was support, not abandonement. So thank you for writing this, as I've been slowly but surely overcoming the haunting "what if" thoughts. Hopefully there will be a time where I'm completely OCD free! xoxo

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  37. I have recently developed something that's similar to this. I don't know if its as extreme as OCD but its similar.
    My little brother passed away 9 months ago and since then I've suffered from anxiety. It generally comes at nighttime when I'm going to bed. This is going to sound silly, but when I get into bed I have to play solitaire until I win 5 times. (Silly, I know!) I can't relax or sleep until I have! I guess its my way of distracting myself from that horrible feeling in my stomach.
    It was quite refreshing to come across your blog and read this. Its easy to imagine the people on the other side of a blog have perfect, fun filled lives and are different to us. Well done on being so honest and open about it, I know that's not easy.
    xx

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  38. I can't imagine living like that, I feel glad you're not at your worst anymore. Always be honest about who you are. X O

    Freddy

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  39. this is such a great post, you are so brave for sharing, thank you. I have mild OCD which i didnt even realise was ocd until my boyfriend researched it, it sounds discusting but i scratch my head so hard it will bleed. i just thought i was really weird and was ashamed of it, now i know its actually a condition and i can get help. your story is really inspirational and im so glad you are better xx

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  40. This is such a great post & I'm glad you shared your experience.
    I have OCD, but I'm thankful it isn't as bad as some peoples. My DVDs/books/CDs etc have to be in alphabetical order, my wardrobe has be colour coordinated - if something's out of place, I literally freak & I've had a panic attack in the past because there was a DVD in the wrong place. I've learnt to joke about this though, because I say it's easier to find stuff, haaha. Odd numbers (3, 7, 13, 17, 25, or 33) also play a huge factor in my OCD - from the volume on the TV, to how many biscuits I eat, to how many sit-ups I do. I do get days where my OCD is bad, but most of the time it's fine.
    Sorry, this comment was a bit ramble-y :') x

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  41. I really admire you posting this! I've had mild OCD for years now, and in recent years, have started suffering with anxiety. I voluntarily had CBT as my anxiety was affecting my everyday life, but it wasn't much help and it was actually my inner determination to beat it that started to make it less severe. I still have anxiety and as much as I hate the thought, I think I'll always have it, but as with you and your OCD I've learnt to control it somewhat.
    Extremely brave of you to put this on the internet, even today I have only told select people about what I deal with day-to-day. Things like this show that most of us suffer from illnesses like this and it shouldn't be something to be ashamed of!

    Great blog, I love it!

    Sara x
    www.beauty-lust.com

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  42. I'm glad you've shared your experience with others. I sometimes think I have a mild form of OCD, like always checking my door is in a certain place before I go to sleep. I also suffer badly with anxiety/panic attacks so maybe you're right an they are all linked together some way. I think a lot of people will benefit from reading this. :)
    I love your blog! Keep up the great work :)
    Luci x

    www.prettylittledoodahs.blogspot.com

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